Our four nino's from South America! About 2 years ago we started talking about adopting an older child. We started out in Ukraine and ended up in South America. Ukraine didnt work out for us but we were told of waiting children in Colombia. We were told of an older girl that was available for adoption but she had three younger siblings. In Colombia they do seperate the children if need be and Kaylee, the oldest of the four was willing to be seperated so that her siblings could stay together. So this post will be about Kaylee, the little girl that has gone through to much in her short life and has a heart of gold!
One thing about adopting an older child and one that has taken care of her siblings is that they one, come with alot more memories of what exactly has happened to them and not always wanting to just open up about it. And 2, they have a hard time letting go of someone else taking care of the siblings. We were told this by many people and to prepare ourselves for this. Well, not the case with Kaylee. She was more than willing to let someone else take on the responsiblilty to have someone take care of her siblings. And as for not wanting to talk to us about her past, she is so OPEN about her past that I just sit there with my jaw hanging open in amazement on how reslient this kid is! She had her birth mother that was in and out of her life, mostly out, 2 older sisters and one older brother. She does not know who her birth father was. Her older sister took care of Kaylee and her older brother a lot of the time. When her sister got sick of that, she left leaving Kaylee alone with her older brother. Soon after her older brother decided to leave also, which left Kaylee alone. But not for long as her mother would be having babies for Kaylee to take care of. Kaylee was in and out of foster care and the last time was when Kaylee, a 8yr old, was taking care of her 1,2,and 3yr old siblings for quite some time. One day the neighbors saw that the 3yr old, James, was out and about in the streets and called the authorities. When the authorities got there they saw things that most of us cannot even imagen! Here is this 8yr old girl living in a "room" trying to feed, keep clean, keep in line 3 little babies! How in the world??? Needless to say the children were not in the best of condition. She was 8 for goodness sake!!! She remembers James screaming as they sperated Kaylee from the three little ones. This has haunted her and has made her feel guilty beyond belief! She thinks she should have been able to not let this happen to her family, she thinks that she didnt work hard enough, that she should have been watching James more and then this wouldnt have happened! She has so much hate towards her birth mother and doesnt understand why she could have done this to her. Heres the part thats hard for me not to say, Boy are you so right! How could she do this to you, I hate her too for doing this to you! But I dont. I tell her the truth. Your mom is your mom and you dont know what she went through when she was a little girl or a teenager or a young adult. You dont know what pain she had in her life or what addictions she all had or what it was like to walk in her shoes. She is who she is, she did what she did and unfortanatly you get stuck with all the bad memories and all the bad stuff that happened to you. But you can make it such a happy ending if you choose to! You have that ability to do with your life whatever you want. You get to choose to let it run your life or not! You have the choice. The three little kids were put into foster care together and Kaylee was put in an orphanage. Why, I dont know. After 1 year the 3 little kids were put in an orphanage 3 hours away from the orphanage Kaylee was put into. After being in the orphanage for around 6 months, she asked the director where her siblings were. They told her that they were and from that day forward Kaylee fought every day for 21/2 years to be reunited with them. She actually fought the Colombian government to get back to her 3 siblings! They told her it could not be done because the siblings were in an orphanage for small kids. They told her that it just is not done. She would not, did not, accept it. They were her brothers and sister and she wanted to be with them. After 3 years of forming realationships with the other girls and caretakers in her orphanage she was still willing to leave them for her siblings! I cant even imagine at 8,9,10 and 11yrs of age doing this!
When she finally was able to get to her brothers and sister in their orphanage, she knew that the possibilty of her being adopted was slim! They didnt even really remember Kaylee. They were to young when they were all sperated to remember. But she remembered them! With the age difference between them 11, 6, 5, and 3, she knew that they would have a better chance of being adopted without her. She thought who would want an 11 yr old. So she told the director that it would be okay for them to try to find a home for the 3 and she would stay behind. After all those years and all that work! It so reminds me of the story in the Bible about King Solomon having to know who the true mother is. And the true mother giving up her son so he could live. She is such a good, wonderful girl. I love her so much and I am very proud of her!
Since I have to keep things FAIR, I will do a part two for Kaylee also. Until next time....................