Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Story Behind The Face

The story of little man’s photo begins back in March.  We saw his picture on a friends FB page saying he needed a family.  A few emails later we began the process to bringing him home.  The time between that first March email and where we are today, one could say, has been interesting.  We were put in contact with a gentleman who lives in little man’s country.  He was the gentleman who would be able to give us the information needed to adopt.  Our facilitator told us not to worry that she has a way to still adopt little man.  During the next few months Mr. Gentleman continued to ask me questions on how the adoptions work in his country and really wanted us to use his lawyer friend.  I replied that a lawyer was not needed but thanks.  So now a few more months go by and I opened my email to find that the gentleman living in little man’s country sent me the info needed to adopt.  Then a few weeks ago I received a message from our FB friend asking if I had seen that little man was listed on a well-known ministry.   I immediately searched on my computer to see little man’s sweet face listed for adoption and not only that but in less than 24 hours of being listed as available he had already had a family committing to him!  What was I to do?  Knowing that the bottom line for ALL orphans is to find a family, were we, should we, back out (Like we did with 3 sisters in South America) and just let the new family continue working on bringing him home?  I mean after all, it would not be God that smashed their dreams.  It would not be the Devil that smashed their dreams.  It would be me, us, our family smashing their dreams. Or would it?  Some of you might be saying, well just contact the ministry advocating for little man and let them know you are in the middle of bringing him home.  Well, that is a little easier said than done because the ministries facilitation team does not think highly of us.  We adopted through this ministry in 2010 with much difficulty.  We went back in 2011 to adopt a little girl we met in the orphanage we were at.  She was listed on this ministries site.  We were NOT going to use this ministry but rather a totally independent facilitator.  Things got ugly in 2010 and again in 2011. So, was I was just supposed to email and say hey, it’s us, the family that questioned how you do things.  The family that your facilitators say HORIBLE things about.  Well we are in the process of stealing (ministries facilitator said “we were stealing HIS KIDS” when we went back in 2011) one of “your facilitators kids” again.  Yeah, we just wanted to let you know we are in the process of adopting little man.  Okay, I guess we could have done that.
A day after our FB friend wrote us about little man being listed; Mr. Gentleman wrote asking if we knew that a family was coming for little man.  He told us about the family that was coming for him and that it would be soon and does our facilitator know????  Okay.  I wrote Mr. Gentleman back asking how on earth he knew about the family as it had not been written publicly yet.  I let Mr. Gentleman know of what we thought of the ministry that little man’s info was in the hands of.  I asked Mr. Gentleman if we were now supposed to “race” this other family to little man and may the best family win??  Really?  Seriously?   I questioned Mr. Gentleman and apologized in my letter of what I was sure seemed angry.  I let Mr. Gentleman know that I was hurt.  I was angry.  I was confused.  How did this happen??? 
2 days after I wrote the letter to Mr. Gentleman, I received an email from the director of this ministry (1st shock).  It was a letter letting me know that when she first received the info on little man she did not know there was another family working on bringing him home because Mr. Gentleman did not tell her (2nd shock, did not know Mr. Gentleman was the source).  It was not until she listed him that Mr. Gentleman told her that there was another family working on bringing little man home.  I’m sure Mr. Gentleman shared our email that I wrote about our distrust with her ministry.  She wanted to know if we were indeed working on bringing him home and if yes, she would tell the other family to choose another child because she did not want 2 families working on the same child (3rd shock).  She also asked if we wanted to fundraise through her ministry (4th shock).  The reason I was shocked so many times is because of what we went through with these guys in the last few years.  It is because of the things I have heard and the things I have read from other families who have used them.  I admit, we seem to be having a trust issue here!  I wrote her back letting her know that yes, we were working on bringing him home and no we did not need to fund raise because we were fully funded thanks to adopting 3 kids last year and receiving our adoption tax credit.  I found it curious as to why she had so many questions for me like how far along were we, when did we file our USCIS, how did we file our USCIS.  Things I don’t know why she needed to know unless it really WAS a race between us and another family?  I politely told her that we just needed to update everything and hope to be there by his birthday and pray to have him home by his birthday but things happen with adoptions all the time that could delay the timeline.  I let her know that if we had any MAJOR delays we would let her know.  
So now that I filled you in on the story behind the photo, let me ask you guys.  Should I be worried?  Will little man be there when we get there?  I know there is ALWAYS the possibilities that the child gets adopted before you get there but I believe the possibility is now even larger.  I believe the other family is still working on bring little man home which they have every right to do.  I don’t like the fact that families do that to each other.  That is why we backed out in 2007 from adopting 3 sisters.  We are so far along with little man’s though that it is harder to back out.  I would love to know what you think!  I would love to hear from you.
I will be shutting my blog down right before we travel and not letting anyone know of our travel date for a number of reasons.  I will still be blogging but you will have to read about it once we return home.  We plan on being in out of country a bit longer than your normal adoption as we are working on some other things there as well.
Knowing how our adoptions go, I’m sure it will be a barn burner!!!


  1. Oh Nance!! First, CONGRATULATIONS!!! He is beautiful!! Second... GO!! God called you to him for a reason. Don't think about the other stuff, just GO! Hugs and MANY MANY prayers!!

  2. I think you were working on adopting the child & it's not your fault if another family was allowed to commit to him. As everyone knows, you can't claim a child until you have their official referral, so work fast to get there as quickly as you can.

    I DO think that the other family who has committed to little man ought to be made aware that your family has been working toward adopting him for months already and that the director of the ministry knows about this and therefore should never have listed little man as being available. Tell the family that you are going to continue working toward adopting little man and while you are not telling them what to do or not do, it is your hope that they would choose to commit to a different child so as to avoid the "you stole my kid from me" scenario like what just happened between another two families adopting through that same ministry.

  3. You're fine. The other family is no longer pursuing your little guy. They are aware you are getting him. All is well.

  4. Thanks Julia, It really means a lot especially coming from you!! Once I see the family listed (according to who Mr. Gentleman said they were) I will feel MUCH better! Have not seen them yet.

  5. Aw, what a love! Once again, I am so happy for you! :)

  6. God laid little man on your hearts for a reason. Trust in that, in Him and just move forward without fear. (I know, easier said then done, right? lol) But, really..what I've learned in all our hard waiting for our Levi to come home is that if it's meant to be, it will be. God's got this and your in good hands with Him leading this adoption ♥ ((Hugs)) Lysh.

  7. I don't even know how I got to your blog but I am so happy to see that bright eyed little boy has a family. I saw him on another website but never saw him again and wondered what happened. He is precious. Is he home yet? I'd love to hear and follow your journey.