Sometimes You Have To Let Go and Let God

Okay, I admit it. I like to be in complete control of my life. That is probably why I don't like to fly, actually HATE to fly. I can't stand driving with anyone. Kind of a perfectionist. Worry about anything and everything and I am not a optimist. Thank God that Ken on is extremely optimistic, very laid back and is a takes it as it comes kind of guy.
The last month has been a learning lesson for me. A lesson from God. A lesson I'm having a hard time learning. It started with my Kurbis losing her eye sight. Completely blind with a condition called SARDS.


She used to chase squirrels and watch them jump from tree to tree. Horse around with my other 2 four legged kids and she loved to watch TV! So to say I was feeling bad and sorry for her is an understatement. I had no control over it. I couldn't fix it for her and it made me feel horrible that I couldn't.
Then after getting a 2nd opinion for Denis and planning his heart surgery we postponed our trip to South America to pick up our kids.

We were supposed to leave the end of July. We had a date. But I had no control. Denis needed his surgery after one more heart scan and then a heart cath. It was a no brainer, but still I had to call 2 kids in South America and tell them they had to wait just a little bit longer.
About three weeks ago I called my dad to see how things were. My dad is EVERYTHING to me. And when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING. he has been there for me when no one else has! I love, love, LOVE him. He told me he wasn't feeling well and for the next 2 weeks that was the answer he gave me when I asked. I went up there one weekend with Kaylee and Roc to clean, do laundry and try to get him to eat or drink. Why not go to the doctor you ask? Because he does not like doctors. I know, I know, who does. But he seriously does not like them. In all my years I never saw him go to a doctor. When he went to the dentist he never had Novocain for any work he was having done. Root canals, teeth pulled, cavities, nothing. Once he was side swiped by another car. He was brought to the hospital and left, with broken ribs and bruised all over. So Ken and Roc went up there last weekend making a stop at the hospital first. Ken asked what could be wrong by giving them the symptoms. They helped answer some questions and said he really should come in but if he was of sound mind there was nothing we could do. THREE hours is what it took Ken and Roxana to convince him to go in. He had not eaten or drank for 2 weeks. He was dehydrated, blood sugar was high which was making the kidneys work WAY to hard! UTI, High blood pressure and not a good looking gallbladder. After 5 days in the hospital Ken drove him back to our house so I could make sure he takes his medication. And NO, he does not make a good patient. Once again, no control. I didn't want my dad to be going through this and would change places with him in a second!!!
We have our appointment in South America next week so what better way to teach me that I have NO control than to have Denis go in for his heart cath and have problems with it. His first heart cath was cancelled and rescheduled for the following week. We brought him in and brought him home the same night. The next day he was feeling great. It was the next day after that though that things went down hill. He stopped eating and drinking, could not keep his eyes open and was running a small temp. Brought him in on Wednesday and Thursday the decision was made to do his heart surgery that day.



I'm actually glad it happened this way so I wouldn't have been worrying the weeks prior to him having to go in. He is doing wonderful! He is pink, not blue any longer! His eyes are bright white and he is warm to the touch. He always was cold and out of breath. He amazes me every time I look at him! He takes it all with no worry! A lesson I am still learning.
Kurbis is learning to live without seeing with help from my other 4 legged kids and all of us. Dad has a follow up doctor appointment next week. Denis may need a pacemaker. We will know more later in the week but he can live a long, long life with one. In fact his surgeon has one! And through all this I am learning to Let Go and Let GOD! If you think of us through out your day, please send a prayer up to the Big Guy!
Thanks!